Tuesday, 2 January 2018

Lose the fear, absorb the journey.

 ‘And then I realised that to be more alive I had to be less afraid, so I did it, I lost my fear and gained my whole life.’

Such a great quote.

I’m not talking about the fear of lions, tigers and bears here, I’m talking about the fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of letting go, the fear of tomorrow.

Life can be scary and I think often, life gets scarier the older you get. Somewhere along the way we lose our care free attitude that is carried as a child and suddenly we are aware that everything has a consequence. We are certainly more aware of our mortality and can start to approach things with trepidation because either previous experience has told us to beware of the fallout, or knowledge and worry can fuel negativity.

Fear is a weird often impalpable thing, it can power you forward with determination into doing things you thought unimaginable. You can be catapulted completely out of your comfort zone to do amazing things, or it can render you powerless and locked into life situations you know are not good for you.

Keeping a check on my own fear I still find a challenge. I battle with the ‘What ifs?’ in my life often. What if I’m not giving equal attention to my children? What if someone gets ill? What if I get ill? What if I can’t fit in work and see my relatives or friends enough? What if I can never find work life balance? What if a volcano erupts at the bottom of our garden? What if aliens land and kidnap me (Unlikely I know but both have crossed my mind believe it or not…)

On a more basic level, I used to snow-board a lot in my early twenties but now as a mum that has recently hit 40, the fear of managing with a broken ankle post piste action, quite frankly frightens the living daylights out of me. Is that fear reason enough to put a stop to my whizzing down the slopes? The answer is no, probably not.

If I’ve learned one thing over the past twelve months it’s that fear only breeds lack of focus for today, and I for one want to be 100% fully focused on today. We’re often chasing tomorrow, the future, what we think we want. The bigger house, new car, more family time, time alone, more money, less stuff, to be fitter, to spend more time with friends, to have more confidence…the list goes on and on. We as humans are never happy and before you know it today has passed you by.

The good news however, is that the happiness is in your hands!

Today’s journey is life, it’s your life and its happening right now. Don’t look back and have not absorbed the journey, that is what it’s all about. The journey, today, now.
What happened today for you that was positive? What is good?

Children are a great example of showing us how to live in the now, they may concern themselves with a worry as a part of their day, but generally they play, they connect with people, eat, drink and soak up whatever situation they’re in to the max.

Let’s not make getting older change our focus on being present. By all means write those lists for the year ahead, plan, have life goals, a wish list, I’m all for having those (and an annual cosmic order at that) but don’t let this get in your way of enjoying the smaller things every day and don’t let fear for whatever reason stop you enjoying the now. I for one am getting comfortable in the hands of the Universe. I will continue my life journey today and I refuse to let fear of the unknown and the future ‘what ifs’ cast a shadow over that!

Absorb the journey. Fear less, live more.

Today might be one of the best days of your life. Don’t miss it.

Happy new year all.

Betty X


  1. Great post and very poignant for me at the moment as I consider a major decision that has big 'what ifs' from all angles. My resolution this year is to live more simply and embrace the moment. I feel that as I've got older, I've lost me in the process because the real me has been clouded by fear and all the what ifs. So thanks for encouraging me to seize the day, embrace the moment and make the most of every moment, no matter what happens.

    1. Thank you Seaside Belle. I'm glad the post has encouraged you. I believe focusing on the now breeds positivity for future, so fingers crossed should be a win win situation! Happy New Year.Bx

  2. One of my new years resolutions is to sort out my muddled head but I fear what it may bring. To ease this fear I have booked some counselling sessions. Fingers crossed they help :)

    1. Thank you The Mummy Monster. I'm a great believer in counselling and I think if we were all true to ourselves we would all probably be having at least a couple of sessions in our lifetime. I wish you lots of luck with it. Sometimes going to the place we don't want to go can be the start of wonderful things for the future. Happy New Year to you. Bx

  3. It's so easy to worry about life, plan too much, don't plan enough, wish be more spontaneous, think others are having more fun. It's good to accept what you have and make the most of it.

    1. Hi Flip flops or Wellies blog, I agree, being positive about you have already certainly lends itself towards a happier life and a more abundant future. Happy New Year. Bx


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Betty x